Because I’m Worth It

Originally released in 2003 by Little, Brown and Company
Written by Cecily von Ziegesar
Preceeded by: All I Want Is Everything
Followed by: I Like It Like That

It makes me feel rather good deciding not to be a bitch…
- Ernest Hemingway, The Sun Also Rises

It’s been 6 weeks since the events of the last book, and it’s a mid-February Monday. As part of Blair’s plans on improving her extracurriculars, her and Serena are acting as senior leaders to 5 freshman girls at Constance as part of a Peer Mentorship program. Jenny, Elise (a gawky and supposedly prim girl) and three other freshmen girls (Vicky, Mary and Cassie – V/M/C) are assigned to their group being co-led . The topic that Blair tries to discuss is self-esteem and body image, but V/M/C only want to hear about Serena and her “love” for Aaron. Jenny feels a little awkward given her history with Blair and Nate, but ends up divulging her insecurities about her breast size and her wish for breast reduction surgery. Blair shares that she considered implants. Elise shares some of her issues with weight. The conversation is derailed by V/M/C asking Serena about her life, so Blair allows the other girls to leave peer group early. It looks like Jenny might find a friend in Elise.

Meanwhile, Vanessa and Dan are killing time from their mutual double free period at the Humprhrey apartment. Vanessa is using Dan as the center of her newest film: Making Poetry. she convinces him to take off his shirt, which leads to them having sex; where Dan officially loses his virginity. Dan is mesmerized by the event and would like to have sex again, but Ruby interrupts the pair, calling Vanessa with good news about her early acceptance to NYU for Film Studies. Dan is miffed by this since his post-high school fate will not be decided until April. Vanessa is sesnsitive to Dan’s feelings about college and tries to cheer him up by reminding him that “Sluts” will be published soon in the New Yorker. Dan is still a little upset, but his insecurities do not prevent him from having a second round with Vanessa.

After St. Jude’s lets out, Nate heads over to the pizza store to find his dealer, Mitchell. However, he learns from the owner that they only sell pizza now and that Mitchell is gone forever. Nate was looking forward to smoking weed, but disappointed, he wanders through Central Park. He calls Jeremy, Anthony and Charlie for advising; each telling him to buy a dime bag from a random dealer or steal his parents prescription meds. This doesn’t satisfy Nate and he impulsively calls Blair. She’s with Gianni, her hair stylist, trying to get a feminine bob like Audrey Hepburn when she gets Nate’s call. He explains that he is quitting weed, but Blair is non-plussed by Nate’s randomness. After the call, she gets another call but this time from Owen Wells, one of her Father’s apprentices and a Yale alum who is willing to give her a second interview. Blair agrees to meet Owen at the Compton Hotel on Thursday for another interview. Elated, she goes back to her haircut while contemplating interview questions and her responses.

Meanwhile, back at Serena’s apartment building, Aaron is waiting outside with Mookie (his boxer) and lattés. The pair have been the latest gossip as the new beautiful couple of the Upper East Side. Aaron is amazed at Serena’s easiness to be with and Serena is totally smitten with Aaron. Serena jokes about getting tattoos of each others names in “private” places, but Aaron is anxious to head back home to see if he got any response from Harvard on his early admission application. Hearing this, Serena tosses her drink and runs with Mookie back to the Waldorf/Rose apartment.

At Constance, Jenny and Elise have been bonding all day and Elise (although looking prissy, immature and girly), she suggests that the pair should go to Bendel’s to shop for new makeup. Blair, also at Bendel’s, is trying to find a new simple, adult dress to match her new haircut to feel more like Audrey Hepburn. Blair notices Jenny and Elise shopping and helps them with selecting makeup. The new haircut has also given Blair a new spiritual makeup, given her helpful behavior to the freshmen girls. This new found kindness amazes Blair. While trying on some eye makeup, Jenny notices a cute tall, blond, skinny boy at Bendel’s and tells Elise and Blair. Blair suggests that he is gay since he is shopping at Bendel’s (a ladies store), and both pressure Jenny into approaching the random boy. Jenny becomes nervous, grabs Elise and runs out of Bendel’s. Still on her helpful kick, Blair writes Jenny’s school email address on a piece of paper and throws it at the boy, which he picks up.

Serena and Aaron enter the apartment and Aaron finds out that he’s been accepted to Harvard. Serena is excited for him and the pair celebrate by smoking herbal cigarettes and drinking champagne in their underwear in Aaron’s vegan-friendly bedroom. Blair comes home to find the pair in carefree conversation which annoys her to no end. When Aaron announces that he got into Harvard, Blair is immediately upset since she won’t find out about Yale until much later. Blair then cites Aaron as the reasong for the botched Yale interview, by keeping her up all night with beer and junk food. Blair then tries to leave, and Serena brings up Blair’s new haircut. Blair can’t tell if she is being genuine or fake; but she can never tell with Serena.

It’s Tuesday morning and the New Yorker with Dan’s poem is on the newstand. When Dan gets a copy with his morning coffee, he can’t believe that his poem is actually there. Chuck (dressed very flamboyantly) runs into him and congratulates him; which surprises Dan because Chuck is usually a jerk. Rufus calls Dan to congratulate him and to let him know that Columbia and Brown called the appartment, claiming Dan is a ‘prodigy’. As Dan hurries to Riverside to try and be on time for first-period chemistry, he notices that he missed a call while talking to Rufus. He checks his voicemail and finds a message from Rusty Klein, an agent who would like to represent him. This is the same Rusty that landed a million-dollar book deal for Prince Charle’s alleged illegitimate son. She has already taken the liberty to get Dan on the list for the Better than Naked show on Friday. Dan is naive to what ‘Better than Naked’ means, but he is very happy at all the attention that he’s getting. As he heads to class, Dan shows a little cockiness for the first time.

It’s 11AM juice-and-cookies recess at Constance and Elise suggests to Jenny that they should go and smoke. Jenny is reluctant, but Elise drags her to the stoop where most senior girls go during recess. Blair and Serena are already there when Jenny and Elise arrive and the four girls chat. Blair tells Jenny to check her email and Jenny instantly wants to leave to see what is waiting for her in her email, but she is there with Elise. Kati and Isabel then come up and start annoying Blair about how cute is her new haircut, so Blair volunteers to escort the freshmen back to school. V/M/C confront Elise, Jenny and Blair, but Blair shoos them off; enjoying being nice to the girls. However, Serena is left behind with Kati and Is on the stoop as she ignores their rumor hypothesizing on why Blair had to cut off her hair.

After school, Nate wanders through Central Park when he comes across Mitchell. Excited, he tries to buy a big baggie of Peruvian-grown weed from him, but Mitchell reveals that he’s wired and is now narcing for the cops. Two undercover cops bust Nate and Nate feels even worse. The cops explain that his punishment will be a fine and some time in rehab. Nate is not feeling good.

In the afternoon, after receiving a message from Dan stating that it was ‘urgent’, Vanessa meets Dan outside of Riverside just as school is letting out. Dan has gotten a new haircut which reveals his eyes, but he maintains long sideburns. Something about it seems calculated, but Vanessa doesn’t say anything. Zeke passes by and Dan tries to say hello, but Zeke ignores him since Dan has been so involved lately with women and writing. Dan tells Vanessa bout Rusty Klein and the Better than Naked show, and Vanessa explains to Dan that it’s a label and the show is for for Fashion Week. Dan then says that he should review his old poems to look for a potential anthology in his notebooks, hinting that he’d like to do this alone. Vanessa lets Dan hurry home.

Later, Serena heads to Les Best’s boutique to get a green golfing jacket for Aaron as a gift for getting into Harvard; however, she finds that the boutique is sold out. She turns to leave, but the manager notices Serena and says that she would be perfect for Les Best’s fashion show on Friday. She agrees to do it, but only if she can have the manager’s green golfing jacket. He complies, giving the jacket to Serena for free.

Back at her apartment in Williamsburg, Vanessa tries to sugar her legs to prepare for Dan’s fancy fashion show, but she gets a call from Ken Mogul (the film director she met New Year’s Eve) asking her to attend Jedidiah Angel’s Cult of Humanity fashion show on Friday. Jedidiah would like to use Vanessa’s exposé on the ‘real NYC’ as the backdrop for his fashion show and would like Vanessa to be there. Although it’s at the same time as the Better than Naked show, she agrees. Vanessa then calls Dan to make fun of the rich people events, but instead, Dan congratulates Vanessa, completely misreading the situation. Vanessa is surprised by Dan, but decides not to say anything.

It’s Thursday and in the freshmen creative writing class, Jenny and Elise have bonded enough to start working together. The project today is to write about a body part of the partner: Jenny wrote about Elise’s ears, but Elise won’t tell Jenny what she wrote about. After school, the pair head to Bloomingdale’s to get jeans for Elise and bras for Jenny. Elise is very open about her body, changing in front of Jenny, but Jenny is embarrassed to do likewise near Elise in fear of revealing her cup size (which are a double D). Eventually Jenny let’s down her guard enough, allowing Elise to help her put on her bra, which is when Elise reveals that she wrote about Jenny’s breasts. Or as she calls them, bobos. Dying of embarrassment and nerves, Jenny dashes out of the change room, grabs the bra she was trying on to check out.

At the Compton Hotel, Blair is waiting for Owen, and she is dying for a drink. However, she decides to not get a drink given her interview. Owen was actually sitting at the bar near Blair for the last 20 minutes. The two begin talking about typical interview questions, until Serena and Aaron show up. They are intrusive and Blair hisses at the pair to leave. Owen continues with the interview, asking why she felt she needed a second chance. Blair explains the events surrounding the last interview and Owen states that he doesn’t think that should hurt Blair’s chances and that he will put in a good word for her. After complimenting Blair on her Audrey Hepburn hair and calling her gorgeous, he then asks Blair out for another date. Impressed by the older man (who says that he’s divorced), Blair agrees.

At the Breakaway Rehab Center, Nate feels depressed that he has to go to rehab without having smoked in so long. He meets Jackie, the overbearing teen group leader. However, he also meets a girl named Georgina Spark (Georgie) – an orphan lumber fortune heiress who sold her prize-winning show horse for coke money. She looks like a pale Snow White with long, straight brown hair to her waist, and Nate decides that rehab might not be so bad. After the outpatients are released, Georgie invites Nate back to her mansion in Connecticut given that heavy snow is blocking off all roads. In her bedroom, they smoke some joints and make-out, but Georgie goes into the washroom and takes some pills. The pair head to the attic and Georgie is now hyperactive. When she brandishes a bottle of horse tranquilizers, Nate gets worried and leads Georgie back to her bed. She passes out and falls asleep, but Nate is worried that something wrong, so he calls Jackie (who made the group program her number into their phones) for advice. She tells Nate to stay with Georgie and help Georgie if she’s vomiting. Jackie rushes over to bring Georgie to the Center.

Meanwhile, at the Les Best fall collection show, Aaron (wearing the green Les Best golfing jacket) and Blair are seated together as Serena’s guests. Kati and Is are also there and spot Chuck with Vivienne Webster’s son, Sonny (a homosexual). They gossip about Chuck’s sexuality, the celebrities and Blair. Serena opens the show, strutting down the runway looking like Red Riding Hood with her gray school uniform, a red cape and an original “I LOVE AARON” t-shirt. Blair is disgusted by everyone talking about Serena’s perfection and Aaron is upset with his name being bandied about by the awed audience. Blair tries to leave, and Aaron agrees to go with her, thinking that Serena won’t notice that he’s gone. Outside, a heavy snow is falling and Aaron invites Blair to head to Scarsdale (the place where Aaron used to live with his mother), but Blair explains that she is meeting a man. Aaron begins to judge her, asking if the man is the man from the Compton Hotel. Blair becomes irate and shouting at Aaron standing in the street as she gets into a cab.

Although Aaron ditched her, Serena is still at the Les Best after party and having a good time. People are asking about Aaron, getting Serena’s autographs and having Polaroids taken with her. Someone suggests that Serena should auction off the shirt and she decides she could donate the money to the Little Hearts foundation (a charity for children with heart complications), and gets up on the bar and starts the bidding. The bidding stops at $4000 and then someone declares a snow volleyball match. Everyone heads onto the street, where Serena gets into a snowball fight with Les Best himself and everyone joins in. Serena is having a great time even if Aaron decided to leave.

Blair meets Owen at the Perry Street boutique hotel, and the two flirt with each other. They kiss and Blair is enjoying the movie in her head where she is Marilyn in Some Like it Hot. Since the snow is too heavy, Owen gets a suite at the hotel for him and Blair. They order room service, feed each other cake and watch old movies. Blair asks about Owen’s wife, noticing that he’s still wearing his wedding band. He avoids the questions and after a quick massage, he falls asleep. Blair uses the opportunity to sneak away, thinking that it’s more mysterious/intriguing if she disappears.

At the Better than Naked show, Dan is hiding in the back of the room instead of sitting in his front row seat with Rusty. A fan encounters Dan and he signs his first autograph. During the after party, Dan finally meets Rusty, a tower of a woman with long, fake nails and a red wig. Rusty is excited to bring Dan on as the next Keats and introduces him to Mystery Craze, a poetess with yellow crooked teeth who just started a new novel on premature death for Rusty. Mystery is obsessed with Dan and “Sluts” and uses the opportunity to kiss him. Dan feels an urge to discover her body and the two leave together, presumably for sex.

At the Cult for Humanity show, Vanessa is seated in a seat originally reserved for Christina Ricci. Feeling mighty, she spies that the Vogue editor that she’s sitting beside writing in her PalmPilot that the video backdrop is brilliant. After the runway show, Jedidiah invites Vanessa to take a bow and she receives much applause for being somebody. During the after party, Vanessa meets Duke, a producer friend of Ken Mogul and he flirts with her. Knowing that there are tons of stick-thin models in the room, Vanessa feels flattered that Duke is hitting on only her. The two head to the dance floor and dance up a storm.

Back at the Humphrey apartment, Jenny and Elise are eating cookies while watching the Fashion Week coverage on TV. Elise is upset with seeing so many skinny people, so she turns off the TV. The conversation turns to Jenny’s paintings and Elise asks if Jenny will paint her. Jenny goes to get her oils but returns to find Elise naked. Elise explains that it will be just like Titanic. Some time passes and Jenny’s hand starts to tire and she quits on the painting. Elise takes a look and is impressed with Jenny’s work. She then notices a book (The New This is My Body for Women) and explains that the book is really graphic. Jenny received the book from her father as a birthday gift as a lame attempt of explaining sex and puberty. Elise opens the book and there are pictures of a woman giving a man a blow job and 69-ing. She flips to the same-sex portion of the book and suggests that they try making out. Jenny figures that a little experimentation isn’t bad, so after having Elise put on some clothes, they make out. Then Rufus calls to check up on Jenny and Elise. He informs her that Elise should stay the night and advises her that he won’t be home because he’s snowed in with his Communist poet friends. Jenny abruptly ends the experimentation and tells Elise to tell her mom that she will be staying the night. Elise asks if Jenny is mad, but Jenny is just uncomfortable.

At lunch, Blair and Serena are holding a peer group meeting with Jenny, Elise and V/M/C. V/M/C only want to hear about Serena’s Fashion Week fun, but Elise brings up experimentation with girls. Jenny, feeling uncomfortable, starts asking Serena about her Fashion Week after parties. Dejected, Elise begins writing her name on her notebook, Elise P. Wells. Blair realizes that Elise is Owen’s daughter and disgusted, she runs from the group and throws up in the nurse’s office; guaranteeing her the day off. All the other senior girls gossip about Blair’s vomitting and her short haircut.

At Riverside, Zeke delivers a package to Dan, which turns out to be a Valentine’s gift from Mystery and Rusty. Dan is totally amazed with Mystery and his new life supplied by Rusty. But, having had sex with Mystery over the weekend, Dan feels slightly guilty over betraying Vanessa. To make up for it, he writes a lame love poem full of clichés and emails it to her.

At the computer lab, Vanessa and Jenny are checking their emails and Secret Admirer’s page (a page maintained by Constance). Vanessa reads the email and sends off a snarky response to Dan. She then notices four messages on her SA page – one from Duke, Dan, Ruby and Ken. Ken wants to meet with her to discuss going to Cannes. Jenny has three message on her SA page – two from Elise and one from a boy named “L”. It’s the boy that she saw in Bendel’s last week. He was too nervous to email her, but he tells her that he can meet her on the crosstown bus. Jenny starts dreaming up her new life with this new boy, who’s name she does not know.

Nate is about to smoke with Jeremy, Anthony and Charlie when he realizes that today is Valentine’s Day. He turns down the joint (the first time since he was 10!) and rushes off to buy some flowers for someone. As Blair gets home, she notices three bouquets of flowers: one from Serena to Aaron, one from Owen to her and one from Cyrus to Eleanor, with a note mentioning their new girl. She throws up, and then beckons her mother to ask about the new child. Eleanor explains but Blair can’t hear more of it and tells her that she is not feeling well. Blair heads to her bedroom and plays at least three voicemails from

Owen before she unplugs the answering machine. Blair then calls Owen, telling him that he knows her daughter and for him to “fuck off”. Angry with Owen, she takes a pair of scissors to her hair to get rid of the Audrey Hepburn style that Owen liked.

After school on Wednesday, Dan meets up with Rusty and Mystery at the Plaza Hotel. Mystery tells Dan that the crazy sex that they had on the weekend inspired her to finish the rest of her novel. Dan feels a little betrayed since he hasn’t written anything besides the lame poem that he sent to Vanessa on Monday. Rusty tells Dan that she is excited to have the two poets do a performance/live reading at the Rivington River Poetry Club tomorrow night. Rusty tries to get Dan to defer college for a year so that he can write a memoirs on his life, but before Dan can say anything she is then called away for business and leaves the duo to their own devices. Mystery and Dan decide to head to the washroom for some sex.

Vanessa meets up with Ken and he tells her that he wants her to film and interview some children in South America for his film on child prostitution, gorillas and nature. He also offers her a trip to Cannes to meet other upcoming filmmakers to share creative energies; however, all his offers come at the cost of deferring NYU for a year or two. Vanessa declines, stating that she is working on her own film right now and that NYU has been her dream. Ken Mogul is upset by this response and leaves. Vanessa notices a flyer for the poetry reading by Dan and Mystery at the poetry club and decides to surprise Dan there and also to capture some footage for her Making Poetry film.

Jenny has since ridden the crosstown bus until 7PM on Monday and Tuesday trying to meet her secret admirer, but to no avail. Today, she brings Elise again, claiming that she is looking for her hat. Elise is a little wary, but optimizes the situation by resting her hand in Jenny’s lap during the bus ride. Jenny is turned off by this and scrambles away from her and falls off her seat and into a tall, blond boy. Jenny introduces herself and L introduces himself as Leo. The two begin to talk and Elise realizes what’s happening and leaves them alone.

Meanwhile, Aaron is walking Mookie through the park on 72nd Street, but comes across Serena; who he’s neglected to call and avoided by staying in Scarsdale since the Les Best show. She is shooting a perfume ad for Les Best’s new perfume in the middle of February wearing an iridescent yellow dress. Aaaron apologizes to her, but Serena doesn’t make a big deal out of the last couple of days. She says that it was probably best that they didn’t get tattoos. He leaves and the photo shoot starts, just as Serena sheds a single tear which lands on her cheek.

Blair is still skipping school and sulking in her bedroom, and after watching The Great Gatsby twice, she calls Nate; the one person she will always miss. He isn’t stoned, but he’s in a rush to get off the phone, since he needs to catch the train to Connecticut for group at Breakaway. He explains his to her and Blair starts thinking of rehab as a spa and contemplates going there. Nate omits the fact, though, that he’s excited to see Georgie again, who has now become an inpatient after her latest stunt with pills.

At the Rivington River Poetry Club, Dan and Mystery have a quick makeout/grope session in the washroom before the have to go on stage, but unbeknownst to Dan, Vanessa is waiting in the audience with her camera to capture Dan at work. The duo get on stage and asks the audience their favorite noun, to which someone replies “pie” and Mystery tells Dan that “[he] is the antithesis of pie” and that “[she] wants to eat him alive”. Dan then asks Mystery what is her favorite verb and she replies with: “sex”. Vanessa realizes why Dan hasn’t been paying much attention to her since Friday, and starts crying, but continues filming as Mystery is writhing between Dan’s legs.

During group, Georgie recounts her experiences last Friday and touts Nate as her hero and knight. Blair stumbles in, expecting the full relaxation treatment, but she picks up on Jackie being lame and Georgie putting out for Nate. Jackie then tries to force Blair to admit to having bulimia (which Blair calls stress-induced regurgitation), and then tells the group to pair up for an exercise in exorcising the demons that plague them. Since there’s an odd number, Blair is left with Jackie and steals away to the washroom. When she returns, she overhears Georgie telling Nate that she wants to thank him for the roses that he sent on Valentine’s day with a pony ride. Disgusted, Blair storms out and calls Serena who is on her way to a movie premiere. She convinces Serena (who thought that Blair was mad because of the Les Best fashion show) to drive to Connecticut and pick her up. They promise to talk about Aaron and everything on the ride back to the city.

Now Monday, Serena and Blair (having her hair touched up by Gianni and now looking like Edie Sedgwick) are meeting with their freshmen for peer group and they explain that they got special permission to take Jenny, Elise and V/M/C out to Jackson Hole for hot chocolates. While there, V/M/C ask Serena about Les Best’s new perfume, called Serena’s Tear. Jenny wants to talk about love (and specifically her love for Leo), but the other girls put an end to that conversation. Meanwhile the other senior girls are gossiping about Blair’s miscarriage that prevented her from being at school last week and her lice problem. Chuck walks in, looking gayer than ever in a fox fur hat and a baby blue pea coat, handing out flyers to a party that was announced as Gossip Girl’s birthday party on her blog. People being to speculate that Chuck is actually Gossip Girl, to which Blair and Serena say, “no way”.

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